On mepeace.org, what is and is not a personal attack

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Paul RETI on December 27, 2008 at 3:02pm

I trust that none here will perceive my starting this discussion to be a personal attack. ==PmR

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Permalink Reply by Neri Bar-On on December 27, 2008 at 3:33pm

but it is.

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Permalink Reply by Paul RETI on December 27, 2008 at 3:41pm

How so?

Please presume or impute that I am just very, very dumb. Spell it out! I will not squeal,

I will not be offended. :-)

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Permalink Reply by Neri Bar-On on December 27, 2008 at 8:30pm

Paul,

As you see the comment below, people get offended and get with you into a spiral of blame game.

We cannot say who started it, not if it is personal or ideology but we feel it.

So consider that your experience may be different then of the others and while you experience that you are right and know the truth others avoid ... you may miss some yourself.; please recognize the need of the community not to have these aggressive voices quiet and balance itself to be able to support cooperation and trust.

When you do not trust some one, you have excuse to attack him/her so this is way trust is a requirement for peace makers.

learning unconditional trust is a not easy. it need practice and inner development. you need to trust yourself in some deep sense that you can communicate with any one from the "other side". when you trust your self to be response-able to any one, you can trust any one.

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Permalink Reply by Paul RETI on December 28, 2008 at 4:42am

Dear Neri;

Whilst all you write immediately above may in fact be relevant to this whole discussion, and I think it is, I do not think it is relevant to this branch (subtopic] of the discussion.

Sub Topic: I trust that none here will perceive my starting this discussion to be a personal attack.

Neri's direct response:: but it is.

Paul's direct response:: How so?

Neri's direct response:: [ None so far that Paul can discern ]

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Permalink Reply by Maria on December 27, 2008 at 5:54pm

Picking up on peoples comments continously negatively is a personal attack. Responding to another person's post in a well thought political way is not a personal attack.
To tell someone that they don't know anything, or they lack knowledge, or they are anti-semites, or they are racists, or they are not welcome here is a personal attack as well.
To advice a person to read more about a certain topic, or to notify them that they may have said something in a non appropriate way or ask them why they joined mepeace, is not a personal attack. In my opinion.
What I wrote to you on facebook I consider a personal attack but you deserved it at that time I guess.

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Permalink Reply by Paul RETI on December 28, 2008 at 5:09am

Marwa wrote: "Picking up on peoples comments continuously negatively is a personal attack." That may be so.

However directly responding to a comment IS NOT an attack on a person.

Also, what if those (original) comments consistently over a long period of time demonstrate a (sanctimonious) propensity to misinform and mislead? There were very many and still are some examples polite and nurturing responses from me some who claim that disagreement with and non-acquiescence to their contributions to be personal attacks or a lack of common humanity or decency.

Now to you. :-) I have still not read your Facebook Gem. :-) And I will forgive you anyway! I know that you're just an emotional kinda of gal. I also know that what I wrote was, well, provocative. While I stand by the content of my original comments, I acknowledge that their timing was provocative. :-) But that is not the topic here.

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Permalink Reply by windsfeather on December 27, 2008 at 7:19pm

Thank you Marwa for your description. It was very well thought. The point is very well presented. Actions speak louder then words. Peace makers work with little reward and great efforts. Many of us have clear goals and others are finding their way. This site was created as a dialog to present and bring forward. We must honor those who are taking their time to come to this site and our efforts are to bring forth ideology and thought to program and structure. Thank you to all who have worked in non-ngo's and ngos. Ma Wa Salam.

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Permalink Reply by Eyal Raviv on December 27, 2008 at 9:02pm

My two cents: A personal attack is when one is attacked by name in public, in a forum discussion, comment or message.

We have Guidelines spell out our vision and values and enable us to moderate our interaction. Our first rule: "Do not insult, embarrass or accuse others on this site. Speak to the subject, not the person."

Let us respect our guidelines and one another in the spirit of conflict resolutio on mepeace.org.

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Permalink Reply by Paul RETI on January 9, 2009 at 1:25am

Thank you Eyal for your contribution and for your hard and valuable and valued work of maintaining this site.

We all say that we agree with the big conceptual picture. And I really trust that all here really do. The devil though is in the (very emotional) detail. :-) That is why I started this discussion.

==PmR

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Permalink Reply by Philip Knight on January 12, 2009 at 4:34pm

A slightly different way of commenting.

---- "Not one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother what he desires for himself." ~ Islam - 40 Hadith of an-Nawawi 13

---- "What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor: that is the whole Torah. All the rest of it is commentary." ~ Judaism - Talmud, Shabbat 31a

---- "Do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." ~ Christianity - New Testament, Matthew 7:12

____________________________________

That said, people's sensitivities are higher than others (I still have to monitor mine at times), and some are just not aware that they are perpetuating personal attacks due to upbringing, etc.

But the above quotations of the Golden Rule can be understood by a child.
It's not rocket science: just universal common sense.

Now, if only this would be practiced by both sides of the reason this site exists...
That's... a whole other discussion.

But in fact, it's not:

It's the core essence solution. Combined with living in the present, not dragging centuries and generations of pain and distorted perceptions along the way.

Yes, that's easier said than done.

However, learning how to refrain from exchanging personal attacks is probably one of the most basic ways to pave the way.

For that's how wars get started and sustained--and repeated.

So it is up to all of us to think, write, speak, and act more...
Mercifully and Gracefully.

And try to leave yesterday--or even just a few minutes ago behind.
Where they belong. The past.

Every present minute--and even every new sentence is a potential new day.
Because our mutual power and dignity can only be lived

Right now.

(OK, this e-ramble is a bit top-heavy on poetics, but it still makes some kind of sense :o)

~ Philip

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