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Many are blaming others and see that the other side is evil.

We know that here for many years.

Can friends write what they can do at this moment to promote change?

Please avoid the blame of the other side, unless you think the other side is pure evil, and that justify your wish for their destruction/immigration. If  you cannot avoid that, you cannot relate to this question because Good exist in both sides and that Good is what will help us create better relationships.

 

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This is a very simplistic way of looking at things, in my view.

Evil is all around us and that is why massacres occurred throughout earths history. The Mongols, the Germans, the Turks were not "pure evil" and neither was the Soviet Empire or the Chinese under Mao or Cambodia under Pot Pol. Evil is the stronger force and is not being fought by men of good will. Jews have encountered this evil many, many times and must therefore not succumb to people that wish it ill, no matter their wordly outlook.

The Arabs in general and the Palestinians in particular have not yet broken that chain and through terror before the creation of the State of Israel have put themselves as a whole-irrespective of a minority that wants to co-exist-in the camp of the enemy of the Jewish people. Once this cjhanges than we amy be able to live in peace as the Europeans have done after many hundreds of years. It took over 23 million dead for the realization that evil must be fought and we still haver pockets in Europe that are evil.

The "good" each person can do is to have the courage and wisdom to initiative face-to-face relationships with the "other" wherever one lives. This is the entry point to Change itself -- http://traubman.igc.org/changechartsall.pdf -- because "an enemy is one whose story we have not heard."

 

“How can we have peace if we don’t build relationships?” The plea and key to life beyond war emotes from African Ikenna Ezeibe in the new 2012 film, Dialogue in Nigeria: Muslims & Christians Creating Their Future. Ezeibe was among the 200 adversaries — courageous young women and men who united successfully in Jos, central Nigeria, the centre of recent brutal violence that echoed worldwide.

The short blog article is at http://www.insightonconflict.org/2012/05/nigeria-life-beyond-war/

The useful 65-minute film is described at http://traubman.igc.org/vidnigeria.htm and can be viewed online from that page.

Psychology has actually succeeded in making a few useful advances, and some very handy advice has come out about how we can improve the way we all interact with each other.

 

One of the most useful suggestions I was ever given was to avoid using the ‘negative’ when giving a child directions. This means, you avoid using words with a negative dynamic, eg: no, don’t, stop, etc.  Instead, when trouble occurs, you have to think of a positive instruction to give. (That is the hard bit, coming up with a good idea, fast.) For example, if one child is poking another, you could suggest – how about we all (that is important ALL) put our hands in our pockets, while we walk down the street, or whatever it is you are currently doing. Or, if there is a big mess of paper being deposited on the floor, you produce a rubbish bin and enthusiastically suggest everyone put their discarded cut-up paper in the bin. Joining in also helps. This way, you avoid being judgemental, and give everyone a chance to get their act together without any humiliation.  This non-negative talk needs to be done in a welcoming kind of way. It works, better than you would imagine. Also works on adults equally well; try it out. You could say it is manipulation, but then the alternative can be form of bullying.

 

Genuinely treating people as EQUALS also defrays much potential conflict, but, to fully treat people as equals, we need to look at changing the world economic system so that there is a lot less exploitation of some countries/people by others. Likewise, this needs to be done at a local level.

This is why The One State Solution is probably the only solution that will bring lasting peace to the Holy Land. Everything else leaves the Arabs in a second class position, after having been robbed of their assets.

 

The one state solution has been openly debated.  One of the drawbacks, is that the Palestinians would have to be given the right to vote in Israeli elections.  So they could very easily vote for succession from Israel, the same way that South Sudan voted for succession from North Sudan.  If Palestinians were not given the right to vote in Israeli elections, then it would just be a replica of apartheid in South Africa, and Israel would face even more, and dire consequences of international isolation.

The one state solution is a non starter. If the present form two state solution runs it course and fails that you may have to contend with a three state solution ie Gaza, Israel (inclusive of Judea and Samaria) and Jordan as the main Palestinian state. Gaza may not be viable and certainly would not get a corridor through Israel. Judea and Samaria and Gaza without a land corridor are not viable either. Jordan with its infrastructure and large Palestinian population would be able to integrate all the Judea and Samaria Palestinians as well as the "refugees" who want to return. With IMF and UN, that would be the best solution all around. Two states for two peoples. That is not the prevailing solution is Israel at present but is gaining traction very quickly with the failure of the Palestinians willingness to negotiate. Palestinian failure to negotiate 1967-1990 led to the establishment of settlements. There is a price that the Palestinians will have to pay for their intransigence

A lot of it too, is personally getting to know the people.  When it is mentioned that this particular group is evil, and I will mentioned "I have been with this group, and I was welcomed and treated kindly by them."  So when blanket statements are made how all Israelis and all Palestinians are evil.  I will mention that the ones I was with, I would not consider evil.  But I have met some in both groups, which had extremism views that repelled me though.  So we judge individuals by the content of their character.  But with all the kind Israelis and Palestinians I have met and dealt with, it is for them that I made the personal commitment to find ways for them to coexist with each other.

Tim

Just a simple question.

If you have met all these nice people everywhere you go : than why do we have bloody massacres against Christians in Nigeria and Egypt and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is still unsolved. Why has he co-existence between Israelis and Palestinians deteriorated since 1993 rather than improved. Why in 40 years has not the Israel-Egypt peace become warmer rather than more frozen?

I am just intrigued and curious!

I separate individuals from newspaper headlines.  The media is there to report a story, something when time allows them -- keep in mind that the media only has limited space and time to focus on anything.  But their job it to report headlines.  But when you get to know the individuals in those regions of the world they are covering, you find out that they are not all evil, but everyday normal people like you are.  I have known both Israelis and Palestinians who just received word that a relative was killed.  So the grief is there.  But it is not taking that grief and saying "your son was just killed by those horrible (whoever they can be), I hope they all burn hell."  The hell is already there for the lost they have gone through.  So I choose to help them to try to put that hell in the past and to rest.  We cannot go in and negate the past.  What has happened, has happened.  It was such individuals I worked with in Bereaved Families, and what are some of the things I did with these Bereaved Families?  For one I celebrated Rosh Hashanah with them, I celebrated the Feast of Eid with  them, and I celebrated Christmas with them.  That helped feel they were not alone, and that they outside world knew about their lives and also knew about their grief.  I had an interesting experience happen to me in Ashdod.  Some recent arrivals from the former Soviet Union invited me to a New Years celebration.  I was perplexed by what they meant.  It was past January 1st, so it was not the Gregorian New Year, and it was not in September so it was not Rosh Hashanah.  They had rented out a large hall, and when I got there, it was filled with decorated trees.  Throughout the evening they sang songs in Russian and drank copious amounts of wine.  Then later on a man dressed up as Santa Claus came out, and I realized where this custom came from.  It was a Russian Orthodox Christmas celebration given Communist ideology meaning.  That experience help me understand the recent arrivals from the former Soviet Union.  I never did know this when I was with the National Inter Religious Task Force on Soviet Jewry.  Because I just knew these people from newspaper headlines.  Sometimes it helps to go beyond the newspaper headlines, and discover who the real people are.

Tim . You are simply changing the subject. I used to work with people that were Schizoid and used to prescribe uppers and downers to alleviate their condition. Neither I nor anyone else cured them. Your story while interesting up to a point is on the same level as interjecting into a conversation about life and death, by announcing the cost of bread.

One person, a dozen people, a hundred people are not a measure of real people. The actions of their leaders, militants and the response of the street to these acts gauge who the real people are.

It is like saying did Hitler represent all Germans.  His party was voted in by the majority of Germans, not because he proposed the master race, but because Germany at that time was going through horrendous economic upheaval.  So he proposed public works programs, just like what Roosevelt did in the United States.  He cancelled the Versailles Treaty, because it lead to Germany's hyperinflation, and also one of the contributors to the Great Depression.  So I am not saying Hitler was the hero of Germany, but for the desperate Germans at that time he was.  In one of my trips to Ben-Gurion Airport, my connecting flight was to be out of Frankfurt.  I had an elderly Jewish man tell he would never fly into Germany.  He made have had his reasons, but I could not tell the airlines that I refused to have my connect flight out of Frankfurt.  So is it like saying everyone in Gaza is evil, because Islamic Jihad is sending rockets out of there.  I have worked with people in Germany and I have worked with people in Gaza.  I cannot say I will not deal with either, because of Germany's tainted record during World War II, and Gaza's tainted record because of armed militants.  You can say do you not care about their victims?  Yes, I do care about their victims.  But if I start being rude and mean to them, then I am making them into victims.  Victims of my unjustified anger.

The question was: "What good can we do to create change."  The exchange above is a strong remind of how easily conversations drift outside the room and away from the missing-yet-dearly-needed conversation on the planet about Change itself and what each human being can do to transform the nature of relationships at home, school, work, and especially with an "enemy."

Change has to come from within the individual.  So my personal experiences with people, does not reflect what is suppose to be the correct way of dealing with them.  I have never said "gee, you are the nicest German I ever met," or "gee, you are the nicest Gazan I ever met."  So in working with people, it is not having what they are being the deciding factor I what I think about them.  Someone is my enemy, because they did something detrimental to me, not because of what group of people they belong to.

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