Some skills/knowledge to deal with conflict

  • In the beginning, do not take sides.
  • Do not allow yourself to become emotionally involved.
  • Assume from the beginning that all participants have legitimate positions.
  • Listen quietly no matter how unreasonable or violent the remarks.
  • Judging is not your task. The listener's role is not that of reformer. Avoid "I'm right, you're wrong."
  • All expression and emotions should be voiced without any interference or negative reaction on the listener's part.
  • Listen with all your senses to understand whether a person is conveying one message but really meaning to convey something else.
  • Avoid interrupting or arguing.
  • Remember the importance of individual differences.
  • Be wary of telling your own personal experiences or using yourself as an example - listen instead.
  • Being told that "everyone feels that way" makes it seem that you think this immediate and crucial catastrophic predicament is rather common and insignificant.
  • Be aware of your biases and/or prejudices in relating to groups or individuals whose personalities may clash with your own.
  • If the participants can't possibly talk with each other, have them talk separately with you.
  • Don't be afraid to clarify a point; What was he/she trying to say? What was he/she feeling at this point? Was the other person hearing what was said? Try, "I heard you say ... is that it?"


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Comment by Oliver Haack on July 9, 2010 at 11:45am
تمكن ان تترجم هذا النص الى العربية؟
شكرا جزيلا
Comment by Linda Feldman on July 9, 2010 at 9:18am
That's an excellent suggestion--we could use the translation as a resource now and later.


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