- In the beginning, do not take sides.
- Do not allow yourself to become emotionally involved.
- Assume from the beginning that all participants have legitimate positions.
- Listen quietly no matter how unreasonable or violent the remarks.
- Judging is not your task. The listener's role is not that of reformer. Avoid "I'm right, you're wrong."
- All expression and emotions should be voiced without any interference or negative reaction on the listener's part.
- Listen with all your senses to understand whether a person is conveying one message but really meaning to convey something else.
- Avoid interrupting or arguing.
- Remember the importance of individual differences.
- Be wary of telling your own personal experiences or using yourself as an example - listen instead.
- Being told that "everyone feels that way" makes it seem that you think this immediate and crucial catastrophic predicament is rather common and insignificant.
- Be aware of your biases and/or prejudices in relating to groups or individuals whose personalities may clash with your own.
- If the participants can't possibly talk with each other, have them talk separately with you.
- Don't be afraid to clarify a point; What was he/she trying to say? What was he/she feeling at this point? Was the other person hearing what was said? Try, "I heard you say ... is that it?"